Happy Birthday Little Girl
Today was Creamie’s birthday. She is two, and she doesn’t even know it. It has been a rough weekend, well, since about Thursday I guess. She has been so sick, and had such a terrible cough that makes her scream and cry it hurts her so much. Through tears and screams of pain she tells me she has an owwie in her chest. I had big plans, we were going to celebrate and have cake, and presents, and go to the aquarium with my dad, and take some cute birthday pictures and it was going to be a wonderful day. Instead we sat on the couch for day four in a row and watched Charlie Brown movies. And then I took her to the doctor, which was unpleasant for both of us. He can’t find anything really wrong. No ear infections, no sinus infection, clean lungs, no RSV or pneumonia (thank goodness), just a sick little girl.
[ image source ]
I haven’t even wrapped her present because I want to save it for the day that really feels like her birthday. So today we “celebrated” with one blue grocery store balloon. And I didn’t even think about it until we were waiting at the grocery store pharmacy for the prescription to be filled. Sigh. She is finally asleep, and hasn’t woken up in a coughing fit for two full hours. And for that I am grateful. But I kind of feel like a terrible mother tonight. I know there are lots of reasons to not feel terrible. She is sick, she doesn’t know what she is missing so it isn’t hurting her, it’s not like she has been anticipating her birthday for months and months, so it’s not like you are stealing her birthday from her, I’m exhausted from not sleeping more than 30 minutes at a time for a week, she wouldn’t enjoy it anyway because she’s sick, I have plans for a real birthday as soon as she is well, blah blah blah. It doesn’t matter. I still feel like my little girl missed the one day of the year that is hers. And it makes me sad.
I’m going to take a little break from blogging. I have things in my real life that need some serious undivided attention for a little while. Thank you so much for all your wonderful support of what I post here. Thank you for the comments, and for the little bits of kindness that you have shared with me. I’m grateful for those of you who have introduced yourselves, and for the friends I’ve made in the past little while. Thank you to those of you who read but never comment, and those who comment often. I’ll be back soon. And I hope it is with some awesome pictures of a belated birthday party.