Dealing with Loss
How do we deal with loss? Does loss make you stronger? Does loss teach us something about our selves, or about humanity, or about life? Or does loss just leave you feeling empty? When someone you love is experiencing loss, in it’s deepest most lonely form, what do you say to comfort them? Is there anything that can comfort them? Where do you draw the line between being supportive and being there for them, and stepping on their toes, or invading their privacy? Is it worse to be too supportive and leave someone feeling like you are in their space, or to be not supportive enough and leave them feeling alone, or like you don’t care?
There are many different kinds of loss, and they affect each person differently. Loss happens at different times in all of our lives. How do you know what will be comforting or uplifting for each individual in your life that is dealing with loss? What do you say to someone who has lost their job, their source of income? What do you say when someone you love has ended a relationship with someone they love? How do you comfort a friend whose beautiful baby has died unexpectedly? What is there to say? How do you deal with loss of faith? Loss of hope? What should I say to someone who feels all their dreams are crashing around them? When all of these things are happening around you, how do you keep from getting sucked into the feelings of hopelessness and despair yourself?
I know that we can’t avoid loss. It is change, and change is inevitable in all of our lives. Some changes are good and exciting. Some changes are difficult, or terrifying, or overwhelming. Some changes in our lives are some of both. The good with the bad. The roses with the thorns. But what about the changes that seem to be all thorns? How do you deal with those? And what do you say to someone who is in the middle of them? Sometimes there is nothing to say. Sometimes we just need to listen. But how do you know if this is one of those times? How do you know if there is something more that you could do to ease their pain, or make life easier, or bring a smile to their face? What do you do when you feel you are at a loss?
This That and the Other
I used to think that I was a pretty normal, average, non-high maintenance person. I mean, I go like 6 months without getting my hair cut. I wear jeans and solid colored shirts most of the time. And I occasionally slip and eat eleven four chocolate chip cookies. I don’t go out of my house without mascara and earrings, but that’s because without them I look like a boy (it’s one of my issues… I have a complex, I know). I have some issues, clearly, but pretty normal, right? The older I get the more I realize I may have been kidding myself about the high maintenance thing. You tell me. Here’s my list, but there’s a few that I think might make me just a teensy bit “high maintenance”… but not snobby…. but maybe I am just too close to the situation.
- I hate paper plates. I would rather cart my real dishes to a picnic, cart them home, (risk breakage) and wash them than eat on paper plates.
- That also goes for silverware. When you are eating, you should have a real knife and fork.
- I hate doorbells. I think a knock is so much friendlier.
- I hate seafood. I don’t understand why we eat animals that swim in the water they poop in. It seems pretty uncivilized. Maybe one day I will understand that too.
- I am having a current obsession with cilantro. I find myself doubling, even tripling cilantro in recipes. And really, have you ever taken a bite of something and thought to yourself, “Wow. Yeah, that has way too much cilantro in it” … Me neither.
- I don’t think you should wear pajama’s to the store, no matter what time you are going (a pharmacy run for a screaming/sick child at 3:00 am somehow is different…) If you want to wear jammies at your house, fine. If you want to walk to your mailbox, fine. But don’t take the time to do your hair and make up to go to the store, and then wear your ratty old sweat pants.
- Oh, and I hate sweatpants. Something about the elastic at the ankles. Shudder.
- I love old vintage patterns, like this one. (UPDATE: Purchased, and now sitting happily with the other patterns in my box. Squee!) I can’t help looking at them on etsy, and dreaming about all the cute things I could do with them.
- But I really don’t like when people get all snobby about how vintage this that or the other is. That seems stuck up, somehow.
- I really don’t like TV. Well, I don’t really like watching TV. I think it is the commercials, they give me ulcers, or something. I need to Hulu. But I love Craig Ferguson. Hubby and I got to go see him live last November, and we sat on the very front row. A few nights ago I may or may not have been found sitting on the floor in front of the TV (I had the volume turned way down, so I had to be close) eating handfuls of Honeycomb out of the box and watching Craig. Sigh. Sometimes my life seems so sad.
- I don’t think you HAVE to have fresh flowers in your house everyday, unless you are one of those lucky people who has a yard to cut them out of, and I don’t think you need to carry your groceries home in unmarked, plain paper bags like they do in every single commercial/TV show/movie you have every seen. But, it just seems like that would be nicer, doesn’t it?
- I one day hope to be as put together as Martha Stewart. But, I recently found out she bought her Easter ham at Costco, and that for some reason made me feel way better about myself.
I could go on, I think, but I fear alienating my friends and family. Am I high maintenance? (If the answer is yes, maybe it would be better if you didn’t tell me…. I’m sensitive you know.)
Happy Fourth of July
Last night I came home from work and saw these beautiful roses waiting for me. It’s not my birthday, or an anniversary, or anything special, it was just a rough Friday. I think they look like fireworks… Happy Fourth of July
In other news, CreamPuff has a new name. We’ve started calling her “The Dread Pirate Bubble Beard.” I think she needs an eyepatch.
Wedding Bells… only there were no bells.
My little sister got married yesterday afternoon, and I couldn’t be happier for her. Landon is sweet and honest, genuine and kind, and he loves her. Liesl hasn’t been happier in her life. I am so exicted for them to start their lives together. For her wedding gift, I made her announcements, which turned out much better than I expected, and then I made the dresses for CreamPuff and my neices. They also turned out way better than I expected, and they all looked so cute! A big thank you to my mom and Scott’s mom for all their advice and help in the sewing department.
So, I finished the little girls dresses last week, and that officially crosses “do something creative” off my list. Please notice that there are no lingering remains of scorch marks…. That’s the magic sauce for you!
Awesome-Sauce
You know in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding when that guy is in love with his Windex? You know, because it cures everything from wedding day zits to swollen limbs to broken hearts? Well, I have found my Windex. White Vinegar is my new go to for all my ailments.
The dress I made for CreamPuff for my sister’s wedding is adorable, light blue with black polka dots, little puff sleeves, with a black ribbon at the waist. On Saturday she kept pulling at the ribbon in the front, so I decided to attach it with some fusible iron on tape. No biggie. Ha. No, it was a biggie actually.
I did everything right! I set the iron to the correct heat, laid the ribbon out carefully and started to iron it on. At first, no problem, the ribbon was sticking, it was on straight and it was going to solve all of my problems. That’s when I noticed the scorch marks. So, apparently baby drool scorches way easier than plain water. Creamie is getting teeth, and on Saturday she had drooled all over her dress, but because it didn’t stink, and I couldn’t see it after it dried, I didn’t think anything of it. Until I saw the spreading brown scorch marks all over the bodice of her dress. I started to cry. The actual wedding is on Tuesday, and now I would have to make the whole dress again. Start over. A total waste. I kept crying. The fabric was burned, that isn’t something that just washes out. Right? Wrong!
I stopped crying long enough to sit down at the computer and pull up my friend, the interwebs. I pleaded for an answer. How do you remove scorch marks from the iron? (Please, oh please, oh please have an answer) My friend didn’t disappoint me. First link said “soak a white cloth in white vinegar, place over scorch marks and iron” What? Iron it AGAIN? Okey dokey… couldn’t make it worse than it is right now. So, I obediently followed directions, still a few wayward tears on my cheeks and… VOILA!!! Abra-ca-ZAM! Scorch marks disappeared. Did I mention that vinegar removes the burn marks from fabric? Burn Marks. When something burns, the chemical makeup is changed… vinegar unchanges it. Vinegar is my new awesome sauce. My ‘Go-To’ when I am in need. As my four year old neice would say, “It is my everything.”
CreamPuff
I was at a wedding reception last night holding my daughter (who looked baby-tastic in her new dress, pictures coming) and some woman, who I can only imagine leads a very sad life, came up to me and referring to CreamPuff said, “What a little wort!” Seriously, could you not think of another term of affection? She is a darling, smiling baby, not a disease! I don’t mind most baby knicknames/terms of affection. She has been called a number of things: ‘little stinker’, ‘chickie-choo’, ‘squiggles’, ‘poops’, ‘spindles’, ‘the brick mason’, ‘Creampuff’, ‘Creamie’, ‘Creamielou’, ‘cutie’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘babycakes’, ‘sweetcheeks’ (I could go on). But no one has ever called her ‘little wort.’ I almost threw a chicken salad sandwich at her. It was a good thing (for her) that I was still hungry.
Start at the Beginning…
Today is one of the greatest days of the whole year. Today is National Pink Day. It is a day to celebrate little girls, big girls, best friends, pink cupcakes, pink ice cream and pink suede shoes. {I ate the ice cream, and these pink shoes are on the way}. It is also a day, for me anyway, to celebrate new beginnings. I realize some most people do this kind of thing at New Years, but this just works better for me. Today marks a new era of my life, which I will talk more about later, but it just feels like it is time to start something new. So, a new blog, a new email, some new shoes, a new job, a new list, and some new resolutions. For some reason it seems much less intimidating to me to make new resolutions on a Tuesday in June than on the first day of a new calendar year. So now I have a list of Pink Day Resolutions, and doesn’t everyone love a good list!
- Work on a new creative project every single week.
- Make at least one new recipe every single week.
- Be forgiving of myself.
I know, I know, it looks kind of like a small list, especially compared to some of the other lists that I have made. But I have faith that if I can accomplish these three things, then I will be happier, more balanced person. And besides, I have new pink suede shoes! You can’t be sad when you are wearing pink suede shoes!
pinksuedeshoe 