This That and the Other

I used to think that I was a pretty normal, average, non-high maintenance person.  I mean, I go like 6 months without getting my hair cut.  I wear jeans and solid colored shirts most of the time.  And I occasionally slip and eat eleven four chocolate chip cookies.  I don’t go out of my house without mascara and earrings, but that’s because without them I look like a boy (it’s one of my issues… I have a complex, I know).  I have some issues, clearly, but pretty normal, right? The older I get the more I realize I may have been kidding myself about the high maintenance thing.  You tell me.  Here’s my list, but there’s a few that I think might make me just a teensy bit “high maintenance”… but not snobby…. but maybe I am just too close to the situation.

• I hate paper plates. I would rather cart my real dishes to a picnic, cart them home, (risk breakage) and wash them than eat on paper plates.
• That also goes for silverware.  When you are eating, you should have a real knife and fork.
• I hate doorbells.  I think a knock is so much friendlier.
• I hate seafood.  I don’t understand why we eat animals that swim in the water they poop in.  It seems pretty uncivilized.   Maybe one day I will understand that too.
• I am having a current obsession with cilantro.  I find myself doubling, even tripling cilantro in recipes.  And really, have you ever taken a bite of something and thought to yourself, “Wow.  Yeah, that has way too much cilantro in it”  …  Me neither.
• I don’t think you should wear pajama’s to the store, no matter what time you are going (a pharmacy run for a screaming/sick child at 3:00 am somehow is different…)  If you want to wear jammies at your house, fine.  If you want to walk to your mailbox, fine.  But don’t take the time to do your hair and make up to go to the store, and then wear your ratty old sweat pants.
• Oh, and I hate sweatpants.  Something about the elastic at the ankles.  Shudder.
• I love old vintage patterns, like this one. (UPDATE: Purchased, and now sitting happily with the other patterns in my box.  Squee!) I  can’t help looking at them on etsy, and dreaming about all the cute things I could do with them.
• But I really don’t like when people get all snobby about how vintage this that or the other is.  That seems stuck up, somehow.
• I really don’t like TV.  Well, I don’t really like watching TV.  I think it is the commercials, they give me ulcers, or something.  I need to Hulu.  But I love Craig Ferguson.  Hubby and I got to go see him live last November, and we sat on the very front row.  A few nights ago I may or may not have been found sitting on the floor in front of the TV (I had the volume turned way down, so I had to be close) eating handfuls of Honeycomb out of the box and watching Craig.  Sigh.  Sometimes my life seems so sad.
• I don’t think you HAVE to have fresh flowers in your house everyday, unless you are one of those lucky people who has a yard to cut them out of, and I don’t think you need to carry your groceries home in unmarked, plain paper bags like they do in every single commercial/TV show/movie you have every seen.  But, it just seems like that would be nicer, doesn’t it?
• I one day hope to be as put together as Martha Stewart.  But, I recently found out she bought her Easter ham at Costco, and that for some reason made me feel way better about myself.

I could go on, I think, but I fear alienating my friends and family.  Am I high maintenance? (If the answer is yes, maybe it would be better if you didn’t tell me…. I’m sensitive you know.)