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This That and the Other

July 14, 2009

I used to think that I was a pretty normal, average, non-high maintenance person.  I mean, I go like 6 months without getting my hair cut.  I wear jeans and solid colored shirts most of the time.  And I occasionally slip and eat eleven four chocolate chip cookies.  I don’t go out of my house without mascara and earrings, but that’s because without them I look like a boy (it’s one of my issues… I have a complex, I know).  I have some issues, clearly, but pretty normal, right? The older I get the more I realize I may have been kidding myself about the high maintenance thing.  You tell me.  Here’s my list, but there’s a few that I think might make me just a teensy bit “high maintenance”… but not snobby…. but maybe I am just too close to the situation.

  • I hate paper plates. I would rather cart my real dishes to a picnic, cart them home, (risk breakage) and wash them than eat on paper plates.
  • That also goes for silverware.  When you are eating, you should have a real knife and fork.
  • I hate doorbells.  I think a knock is so much friendlier.
  • I hate seafood.  I don’t understand why we eat animals that swim in the water they poop in.  It seems pretty uncivilized.   Maybe one day I will understand that too.
  • I am having a current obsession with cilantro.  I find myself doubling, even tripling cilantro in recipes.  And really, have you ever taken a bite of something and thought to yourself, “Wow.  Yeah, that has way too much cilantro in it”  …  Me neither.
  • I don’t think you should wear pajama’s to the store, no matter what time you are going (a pharmacy run for a screaming/sick child at 3:00 am somehow is different…)  If you want to wear jammies at your house, fine.  If you want to walk to your mailbox, fine.  But don’t take the time to do your hair and make up to go to the store, and then wear your ratty old sweat pants.
  • Oh, and I hate sweatpants.  Something about the elastic at the ankles.  Shudder.
  • I love old vintage patterns, like this one. (UPDATE: Purchased, and now sitting happily with the other patterns in my box.  Squee!) I  can’t help looking at them on etsy, and dreaming about all the cute things I could do with them.
  • But I really don’t like when people get all snobby about how vintage this that or the other is.  That seems stuck up, somehow.
  • I really don’t like TV.  Well, I don’t really like watching TV.  I think it is the commercials, they give me ulcers, or something.  I need to Hulu.  But I love Craig Ferguson.  Hubby and I got to go see him live last November, and we sat on the very front row.  A few nights ago I may or may not have been found sitting on the floor in front of the TV (I had the volume turned way down, so I had to be close) eating handfuls of Honeycomb out of the box and watching Craig.  Sigh.  Sometimes my life seems so sad.
  • I don’t think you HAVE to have fresh flowers in your house everyday, unless you are one of those lucky people who has a yard to cut them out of, and I don’t think you need to carry your groceries home in unmarked, plain paper bags like they do in every single commercial/TV show/movie you have every seen.  But, it just seems like that would be nicer, doesn’t it?
  • I one day hope to be as put together as Martha Stewart.  But, I recently found out she bought her Easter ham at Costco, and that for some reason made me feel way better about myself.

I could go on, I think, but I fear alienating my friends and family.  Am I high maintenance? (If the answer is yes, maybe it would be better if you didn’t tell me…. I’m sensitive you know.)

6 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2009 7:36 am

    I think I must be your other twin. At the least, I’m sure we’re related 🙂
    I love your list and saw myself in almost every item. I can tell I’m the older twin, though, because I don’t have the energy to be quite as picky as I used to be. For example:
    I hate paper plates but use them a lot more now because they come in handy with a big family. I even have some on hand, just in case something comes up.
    I still use silverware if at all possible. The kids can use plastic.
    I used to not like mushrooms until someone sauteed some in butter for me and I have loved them ever since.
    I used to not like seafood, but I think that’s because I never grew up with it. I love it now–even sushi.
    I live in Texas, cilantro’s on everything. Yum!
    I saw a lady in line at the post office in ratty jammie pants. They were dragging on the floor and were just black around the bottoms. I miss the days when people would dress up to leave their houses.
    I love vintage and hate the snobby vintage pointer-outers.
    I like TV but usually watch TV shows on DVD or hulu.
    I used to not like popcorn at all and my hubby loves it. I have tried kettle corn and like that a little. I’m now used to the smell of it in my house but still have not trained the popcorn maker to put the air popper away when he’s done.
    Thanks for letting me ramble. I’m going to go buy some fresh flowers for my dining room table and carry them home in an unmarked bag that also has a baguette sticking out of the top.

    • July 15, 2009 12:22 pm

      I don’t know how I forgot the baguette. That is absolutely necessary. If you don’t have one sticking out of your brown paper bag you are probably borderline white trash or something.

  2. July 15, 2009 4:12 pm

    Lookit! We’re triplets! (Except I’ve always loved seafood, in a big, fat, major way.)

    Also–Pink Shoe–you aren’t high maintenance at all. Nope, not at all. Not even a teensy little bit, nope.


  3. ANYA permalink
    July 15, 2009 7:59 pm

    -cilantro tastes like I am eating grass…there is is ALWAYS too mch cilantro!
    -maybe you and sam should be married and scott and I should be married, that way our house could smell like delicious buttery popcorn all night and yours could smell….not like popcorn.

  4. July 16, 2009 3:37 pm

    k, i didn’t know who you were when i was reading my comments on my post. i was excited to find out it is you and that this is your blog. very cute and i love this post, you are hilarious, i do have to disagree with you on one thing, i don’t love cilantro and i have actually thought there was too much cilantro in most things it’s in, but i think differences are what make people interesting! love ya! and love the blog!

  5. Jen permalink
    July 30, 2009 10:09 am

    In the interest of the last post’s special notice about differences being what makes people really interesting, think of me as Interesting! Maybe it’s because I grew up the middle child in a big family, maybe I was tortured one too many times by Joe growing up! Call me crazy, but while I am entertained by reading the above list, I have never actually ever thought of making an issue of any item on the list! I am laughing right now to see that my own only sister seems to be calling herself a triplet of yours. Even she sees herself in the list! I am glad I get along with all the triplets! However there is that issue Heidikins can vouch for (and my sister) about the cleanliness of my house. Maybe I should care a little more about details. Maybe I’m still learning!

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