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Love Grows

May 8, 2011

I’m not one for celebrating something just because the greeting card industry says that I should.  Don’t get me wrong, I think mom’s and motherhood is great, I just don’t want to be forced into buying a card and a bouquet to show appreciation just because someone tells me I should.  (I also don’t buy into flowers at Valentines Day.  I’d rather have them on some rainy day in June just because.)  Anyway, today, instead of going to church and listening to all the wonderful stories of the mothers in the scriptures, and in our lives I stayed home with a sick little girl.  And it got me to thinking about what it means to be a mom.

[One of my favorite family pictures, January 2009. Photo by Angela McAllister ]

I found out I was pregnant in May (2008), just a few days after Mother’s Day.  I can remember writing in my journal about that small person inside me, wondering what they would be like, and how my life was going to change.  Some women start making sacrifices for their unborn child even before they become pregnant.  Some endure weeks or months of sickness and naseau.  Not to mention the actual labor and delivery.

[ That’s me enjoying the snow at 39.5 weeks pregnant. Photo by Angela McAllister ]

Showing amazing restraint, I stopped eating cookie dough completely so as to eliminate the risk of my unborn child contracting salmonella.  A precaution I would never take for myself, and nearly immediately after she was born I was back to my old habits.  And I’d like to say that when you get to hold that sweet baby in your arms it makes it all worth it.  Looking at pictures of sweet little newborns you can’t help but fall in love with them.

[ My little Creamie at 10 days old.  Photo by Lyndi Bone ]

But I believe that there is something more powerful than love at first sight.  True love takes time.  And sacrifice.  I wasn’t one of those people who was instantly head over heels in love with my child the moment I saw her.  Honestly the first thing that went through my mind was “how could a baby that big (she was only 7.5 pounds) come out of me!”  But true love took some time.  I felt very responsible for the amazing gift that I had been entrusted with.  And I did everything I could to help her grow and teach her to sit up and roll over.  But true love takes time, and sacrifice.  The more things I sacrificed for my little Creamie, the more I loved her.

[ This photo from my sweet friend Corby ]

And as time has gone on, I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with her.  Each time I get up at night because she is afraid, each time I give up time spent on my own projects to do a puzzle with her, and every time I make room in the budget for more diapers and a new pair of shoes, love grows.  We learn to love by giving up part of ourselves.  By doing something for someone else.  Helping someone who can’t do it on their own.  Love is born of sacrifice.

[ Creamie at 3 months old, photo by Mandi Nuttall ]

A little more than two years after Creamie was born a lot has changed.  Those bright blue eyes are turning green, just like mine.  Our schedules no longer revolve around eating and naps.  We’ve had good days and bad days and sick days (hello all of november till april!).  We have celebrated a lot of firsts and many childhood milestones.  There will be hundreds more.  And with each new step away from infancy and towards adulthood love is growing in our little home.

[ Photo by Lyndi Bone, February 2009 ]

This weekend has been full of sickness at our house.  It’s little Creamie again, this time with a really upset stomach.  Tonight she is starting to do a little better, thankfully.  But as I folded the umpteenth load of laundry, and ran with her to the bathroom yet again, I realized something.  My mom did this same thing for me.  She held me when I was sad and rocked and sang to me when I was sick.  She sacrificed for me in ways I can not yet understand, and I love her for it.  Mothers everywhere sacrifice for their children and the people that they love every single day.  And with that sacrifice, Love Grows.  Happy Mothers Day to mothers and grandmothers and aunts and to all those who love children.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. May 8, 2011 6:22 pm

    you are, an Excellent writer. So well said.

    PS – I almost thought you were going to say you were prego again!

  2. May 8, 2011 8:00 pm

  3. May 8, 2011 8:22 pm


    The same thought crossed my mind as Amylouwho’s (lol). I gave up cookie dough, too, when I was pregnant the first time and haven’t eaten much since.

    You have the luckiest little girl because her mother knows how to sacrifice for her benefit. You rock.

    Oh, and I love that first photo of you. Pregnant looks good on every woman, but it looks extra good on you.

    xo -El

  4. Rebecca Snider permalink
    May 8, 2011 10:11 pm

    What a beautiful tribute to women everywhere. Beautiful beautiful pictures …. thankyou for sharing them with us.

    I think you have a wonderful ability to write….perhaps one day a book?

  5. May 8, 2011 11:15 pm

    I gave up sushi, but I got so much more than raw fish.

    You are both so beautiful.

    p.s. are you sure you were 39.5 weeks pregnant in that snow photo? That belly barely looks big enough to hold a 7.5 lb baby!!

  6. sara permalink
    May 9, 2011 7:04 am

    You are beautiful. You know that, right? I mean, straight from the inside out…

    Seriously, your eyes are striking! And your heart always makes mine skip a beat and go hug my boys just a LITTLE bit tighter.

    Hope your day was great and that Cream-0-la is feeling better! 🙂

  7. May 9, 2011 7:30 am

    Happy mother’s day. What a beautiful posts and well said. I do think motherhood is about giving up a lot and finding a part of ourselves in the process. And yes, bit by bit, we give, we grow and a deeper love is formed. The interesting thing I see now that my daughters are 15 and 20, is you sort of come full circle. There comes a point where you have to find yourself again. It is the old you before children but better, stronger because of all you have given and sacrificed xoxo Clarice

  8. May 9, 2011 7:50 am

    Beautiful pictures, beautiful thoughts. You are amazing. 🙂

  9. May 9, 2011 8:39 am

    Happy Momma’s Day. Love you, Creampuff, and Scott.


  10. May 9, 2011 9:38 am

    great post and beautiful pictures…and holy crap the photo of you full term is like me at 20 weeks. Where did you put her? You looked great!

  11. May 9, 2011 9:51 am

    Very well said – about motherhood and Mother’s Day. I have never understood why we need to pick a day to tell our mothers (or fathers) how much we love them. I don’t want a special day, it makes me uncomfortable. My mother’s all love the day so I oblige, but all I ask for is that the boys behave.

    For motherhood; it’s true – we give up everything and but gain the world. It’s such an amazing trade off!

    Keep enjoying your beautiful daughter!

  12. May 9, 2011 11:00 am

    oh my. I am 20.5 weeks pregnant and I think I am bigger then you were at 39.5…
    ugh. I am gonna be gigantic!

    great photos, fantastic post!

  13. lacey permalink
    May 9, 2011 9:21 pm

    beautifully put. I feel the same way. When my first was born i was so worn out i didn’t really know what to think but, “wow that was a lot of work. Can i go to sleep now?” My love for her (and him) has grown through sacrifice. Just yesterday i was reminded of what being a mom is. It is cleaning up your baby after dinner and looking down and seeing poop running down your leg that has dripped out of his diaper. Lovely. But it is really worth the joy they give me! thanks for the beautiful post!

  14. May 11, 2011 11:29 am

    Gorgeous pictures!!!! I enjoyed them thoroughly.

    It’s great to hear from you. That silhouette during a historic home visit was my Mother’s Day gift. 🙂

  15. May 11, 2011 8:51 pm

    Oh. My. Gosh. You are simply stunning. I love the shot in the snow. You’re so lucky with a cute tummy. I looked like I had *several* basketballs stuffed up my top at 39.5 wks preggo with my 11lb monsters.

    I had never really stopped to contemplate that my mother did for me what I have done for my children until she told me a story of when I was a newborn and screaming all night and she went for a walk with my sister and I through the neighbourhood – crying all the while. I love Mum even more now.

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