pinksuedeshoe

It’s Christmas… practically.  But, even though there is beautiful snow on my mountains (which is already melting on the grass- grrr) I can’t seem to find the Christmas spirit.  It’s not for lack of trying.  I have been making gifts like crazy.  My dining room is a pile of works in progress.  I am almost done with the Christmas shopping.  I’ve been listening to my favorite Christmas music.  I have Christmasy plans for nearly every day from now till then.  I hung the wreaths on the door.  I have Creamie’s “Baby’s first Christmas” ornament.  Which, by the way, why are so many of those things so ugly?  I’ve helped my mom put out all of her nativities, and tried out some new Christmas recipes.  I’ve planned and baked for two Christmas parties already, with a few more to go.  But still, no Christmas spirit.  I just can’t seem to find it this year.  Bah Humbug.  I usually love Christmas.  It is a magical time of year, full of so many things that are important to me.  Family. Love.  Food. Homemade Goodness.  Sigh.

Creamie still hasn’t been feeling good, and I am sure that is part of the problem.  She went from dual ear infections, straight into new molars, and from there went into three days of really high fevers (topped at 104.4) and then a few more days of general grumpiness followed by a rash all over her little body.  Several visits to the doctor produced nothing but “give her IBProfen and keep her hydrated.”  Oh, and somewhere in there I had the lovely experience of watching a blood vessel in my foot burst. We went from nice normal vein to huge swollen vein and then very large bruise from exploding blood vessels in a matter of minutes.  Culprit?  Blood clot.  Awesome.  (For some reason I think that makes me sound old and feeble… or like I am a smoker.) Follow up?  Hospital run for ultrasound of leg to make sure it was the only one, wrap with ace bandage for compression, and watch ugly bruise get bigger.  Result?  Very unChristmasy attitude.

I had  big plans last night to do something very Christmasy.  Cheery and fun and magical.  We were going to go look at all the pretty Christmas lights.  But, the unChristmas demons had it out for us.  The car won’t start.  Bah Humbug.  The only thing that’s worse than the car not starting in the winter is when it strands you someplace that isn’t your own house.  Thankfully THIS time I was stranded at my mother’s house, nice and warm and toasty.  Last time we were stranded it was close to 10:00 on a cold, blizzardy and foggy February night.  Oh, and Creamie was only 3 1/2 weeks old.  And we were in a tiny farming town 40 minutes away from a gas station or a McDonalds.  Brings a whole new meaning to “a dark and stormy night.”  Advice to anyone in the market for a new car, don’t buy a Jeep Cherokee.  It will bring you nothing but occasional trouble.

I need some suggestions, any help you can give me would be great.  What do you do when you are feeling bummed out about approaching merriment, Christmas, birthday’s or life in general?  And don’t say retail therapy or chocolate chip cookies.  So far neither are working well… also, not for lack of trying.

You know  when you have one of those days where nothing seems to go right, and no matter what, you still feel all funked up inside, and not in a good way?  You know those days when you realize that after two rounds of antibiotics, back to back, your baby still has an ear infection?  You know those days when you wake up really early, but not because you really wanted to?  You know those nights when your baby wakes up four or five times because she is sick and her ears hurt?  You know those days when all you really want to do is escape to your room and organize your craft supplies, but there is no way that’s going to happen?  You know those days when you wish the neighbors would pick up their feet on the stairs because their pounding up and down is waking up your child and knocking pictures off of the walls?  And those other days that you really want to just go outside and yell at them, but your child is screaming and needs to be soothed back to sleep, so going outside to yell at someone really isn’t your best option?  You know those days when you finally crash into your bed only to realize that you don’t remember the last time you brushed your teeth, and furthermore, you don’t care?  I hate those days.

And you know those other days when everything seems to go perfectly, and everyone is happy and dinner turned out fantasticly, and there was a really long naptime and no one sent you crappy emails and you rediscovered your favorite Christmas music, and then you invented the best pie in the world (Cran-apple pie with fresh raspberry sauce) and the crust was perfect and flaky, and you woke up refreshed and went to bed early, and had plenty of time to doodle random things in your little art books and look at lovely things on the internet and come up with clever blog posts and taught your baby something new, and watched her blow adorable kisses at her baby doll and heard for say “Mama” for the first time  and it was generally just the best day ever?  I wish I was having one of those days.