Yesterday I tried to keep myself busy. I went thrifting with a new friend, went to dinner with a few friends and then spent the rest of the evening with more friends talking fabric and pyrex and awesomeness.
The night had been planned for weeks. I had hoped that it would be celebratory. But when I left I still didn’t know Tuesday’s results. Scott called me while I was out. I was in line to buy my dinner. Our project has been cancelled.
I held it together, amazingly. I didn’t let it ruin my night. I didn’t tell anyone until I was back in the car on my way home with just one dear friend to talk to. She let me cry and I didn’t feel awkward. Thanks Amy.
When I got home everyone was asleep. Scott left this morning before I was awake, standard 5:15am routine. I don’t want to talk about it anyway. There is nothing we can do, the vote was 112 to 71 against the project. It kills me that such small numbers decide so much sometimes. But that’s America I guess. Democracy at work.
I don’t know why some things happen and some don’t. That’s not my job. My job is to make the very best of any situation I am in. And I am going to. I don’t know what Plan B is yet. But I’ll make one. Things will “work out”. Whatever that means. There is a silver lining in here somewhere. And I am determined to find it. Over the past three months as we were killing time waiting for this week I decided to clean my entire house, top to bottom, inside out. I had hoped that it would make it that much easier if we were able to move. But, hey, at least now I’m living in a clean house. That’s something.
Thank you dear friends for all your support and love and prayers. I have an overwhelming sense of peace. Which I know is a result of a lot of love and prayer and goodwill in our behalf. And I am so grateful for it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means more to me than you know.
And no matter what, no matter what happens, what is lost, what is gained, I will have these two forever. My family is mine. And they are the most important thing to me. Really, as long as I have them things are “working out”. Whatever that means. I’ll be back soon. I promise.